cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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