god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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