after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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