I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
