So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
