Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
