Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
