I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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