people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
