Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize