@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
