The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize