out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
