My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
