I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize