Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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