I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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