You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
