I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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