is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Damn victory sex feels great
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
