So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize