Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
