I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
