Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize