with your own penis?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
pray to the hookup gods
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
