He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
