So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
