remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
