ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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