Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
