Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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