Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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