You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
