I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
