I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
