OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
