that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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