Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
