I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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