First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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