I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
