I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
