weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
