Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
