My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
