toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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