so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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