Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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