they need to just BURY HIM!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
