Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
