YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
