We're facebook friends in real life
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize