We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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