just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
