got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize