Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This house was built for laser tag.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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