My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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