You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
