she was so not down for the gang bang
I am puke
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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