do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
