dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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